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Hoilday PEM

This is a message to everyone who is hurting right now from over activity during the holidays, or just hurting in general. I feel like a lot of people are in recovery mode right now, in a crash, or in a low spot. Everyone I know is. So I want to reach out and say a few words about being in a low, dark spot, in a crash, or suffering more than usual.

Humans have something called "state dependent memory". This means that whatever mental state you are in, you tend to remember more past times when you were in the same state than other states of mind. Our memories are not accurate. Our current state of mind triggers more memories to come up when we were in a similar state mentally and physically.

This means that when you are in a crash, suffering or in a dark place mentally or physically, you remember more times in the past when you were in that same place, and fewer of the times when you were more stable, or the good days when you were able to do more. And this makes it so that you can feel like you have always been where you are now, that the last years of illness have been nothing but an endless crash/downturn or dark period and you forget all the moments of light and beauty, and the good days or periods of stability. Your mind just can’t access those positive feelings or memories as easily.

But they are still there and they are real. You have not always been in a crash, there have been moments of life and light and beauty that have made you stop and say thank you to the universe that you are still alive, for right then, all the suffering you have gone through is worth it to be alive in that moment.

Try to remember those feelings and those moments and hold onto them. They are more real than the suffering. That gratitude for life is the most profound truth that we have.

We can also feel stuck and like our bodies can’t move or are trapped. But the truth is that the whole universe including our bodies are constantly changing. We may feel like we are stuck because we tend to get stuck in moments when they are painful. But our bodies are changing, fighting to survive and move away from illness. We will see different times, different symptoms, different perspectives. We filll feel new emotions, new states of mind, we will feel happiness and joy again. Things will come back.

The dark place you are in now will not last forever, you will pull out of it and feel so grateful that you are still alive for whatever is to come in your life. So hang on and just let these days pass, until something new comes your way, something different. It is in the air, it’s just not here yet. But it will be here and you will want to feel that new wind.

We will persevere together through this dark time and we will all experience better days ahead. I promise.

#MECFSperseverance2023

Love,
Whitney


   



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