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Easter 2022 and Dreams

Sometimes my dreams are so much more real than this world. I was just dreaming of grocery shopping with a childhood friend and buying things for my mother to make enchiladas. (I love grocery shopping and my mother makes some mean enchiladas, even my dog agrees - he ate 2 whole platters once off the counter while we were outside letting them cool).

I woke up alone on Easter with a feeding tube. The whole (new) family (that I hardly know) is over at my sister’s house for Easter. My brilliant Niece is just old enough to understand Easter and young enough to be lost in the magic. She calls me "Uncle Whitty" but hardly knows me. It’s my little Nephew’s first Easter. I’ve only met him a couple times. I hardly know my sister’s husband and don’t know his family at all.

I’m staring at my walls alone stuck to machines and tubes.

I dream of real life with all it's beauty and loss and happiness and triumph and joy and laughter and sadness. And I awake to nothingness. I want to fly even if it means I must fall. But we don’t even get to fall.

I pray for better days for all of us when we can rejoin the world again and feel the wind and the love and the connectedness. Until then we wait in our isolation cocoons. I wait with you, we all wait.

Happy Easter everyone.

Love,
Whitney

   

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