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Beauty And ME/CFS

I posted last week about my sick body feeling gross and the feeling of being unlovable because of this.

You can read that post here

After publishing this post so many of you wrote wonderful comments about how beauty comes from within and anyone worth my time would see that through what ME/CFS has done to my body physically in this moment.

This is true, and I want to expand on this because it’s very important for us all to remember.

The bigger truth is that we are all gross. Human bodies are all filled with blood, mucus and slimy, gooey stuff of all kinds. We all smell bad. We all poop. Part of what happens when we are attracted to someone or fall in love with someone is that we see past all the gross things in that person’s body. That’s why being intimate with someone you love isn’t gross. If it weren’t for all those chemicals firing in our brains blinding us, it would be disgusting.

The idea of a clean, perfect body is an illusion created by the fashion and beauty industries. They sell us the lie of a perfect body which makes us all think we are imperfect and need fixing. Then they tell us what to buy to make us perfect and we feel we have to buy these products to make us look like the images of fake bodies we are constantly bombarded with. But these bodies they show in magazines and advertisements are just as gross as everyone else as soon as the lights and makeup and photoshop are taken away. What you see is just a disguise, like a halloween costume.

We are all souls trapped in big bags of rotting flesh. Including supermodels.

And these bags of flesh get old and then die one day. They don’t even last forever. They’re constantly on a path towards falling apart.

What is important is the soul that lives inside all our disgusting bodies. This is where true beauty resides.

Most ME/CFS patients have had so much of life taken from us, we have all had to look inward. I find that because of this, ME/CFS patients are some of the most beautiful, radiant souls I have ever known.

There are three ways I want to distinguish in which ME/CFS patients have looked inward in a way that is unique to most other people.

Without facing some kind of hardship, people tend to coast through life without ever being forced to look at who they are or question themselves or the world. ME/CFS patients have had to question everything in our whole existence. All of society is constantly blaming us for being sick, and we have all had to search long and hard to find the truth that we are legitimately sick with a real illness. No one with ME/CFS is here without having to do this work. In the process of doing this, we learn so much about ourselves and who we are. Which makes us strong, deeply understanding, compassionate people.

We have all lost very basic things that most people take for granted in this life and don’t ever learn to appreciate or understand. Things like just being able to physically move to do what we want to do, being able to walk, being able to pursue a career that we put time and energy into, being able to tolerate the company of other people, being able to eat food, being able to leave the house or our beds, even being able to simply move. This all causes a lot of suffering but it also teaches us the value of being alive and what is important in this life. And it forces us to look inward and find meaning and purpose. beyond the things that distract most people for their entire lives.

Most people never have to face who they are. Most people don’t really even know who they are, they are constantly distracting themselves and never have to figure it out. But when we loose all the distractions in life that keep healthy people occupied like jobs, entertainment, education, etc, we have to not only confront and live with who we are, but learn to appreciate and love ourselves. This is the only way to survive ME/CFS.

All of this work polishes our souls like pearls and makes us radiate so much beauty from within, where it really matters, inside the bag of rotting flesh we call our bodies.

We are all beautiful in all kinds of different profound ways, and have so much to offer the world. This is why I always say that when they find a cure, there will be a huge rush of wisdom into our culture as all these wisened beings are suddenly free to be a part of society again and share what we have learned.

We may feel gross on the outside, but when we do, let’s remember how gross everyone is, that the idea of perfect Hollywood outer beauty is an illusion, and how truly beautiful we are on the inside. We have so much more to offer the human race than any super model could ever dream of.

We can offer the world true beauty without any kind of disguise. And we can do this now, from bed. We may feel that because we are isolated, we don’t have an affect on the world, but this is not true. Our beauty radiates beyond these walls and changes the shape of our culture and our whole world.

ME/CFS patients make the world a better place for everyone, though most people never know it and we will never be thanked for it. We do it because we see the beauty and dare to survive for that beauty against all odds.

All bodies are gross. But not all souls have done the searching that we have done to shine with such beauty.

You are all so beautiful.



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