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It's Not Your Fault

I think at some level we all blame ourselves for the symptoms and consequences of ME/CFS. Even if you truly know and believe it is a real physical illness I think in the back of all our minds there’s a little voice that tells us we could be doing better if we tried harder, we could be less of a burden, we could accomplish more, be more productive, make more (or some) money, be more independent, etc. I know I catch this little voice in the back of my mind and have to correct it quite often. But it’s not very easy to catch, it’s a sneaky little voice that is often close to unconscious. And it is certainly not easy to ignore or absolutely refute.

It’s actually a really heavy burden that I believe we all carry with us all the time and never admit to or talk about.

It happens because there is so little out there explaining what is happening to us or why or how. We wind up lingering in this limbo land never knowing anything for sure and since none of us are enlightened Buddhist Monks we wind up blaming ourselves a little bit just by default because we are raised in this Western culture that so encourages self hatred.

What I think we all need is a moment with Robin Williams in his role in the movie "Good Will Hunting" where he makes a breakthrough with Will (Matt Damon). Here is the clip on YouTube below. Watch it (if you can) and really soak it up.

https://youtu.be/ZQht2yOX9Js

It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
.
.
.
It’s not your fault.

Whatever is happening right now in your life. No matter how terrible or misunderstood or painful or lonely or downright inhumane.

It’s not your fault.

You have a physical illness and every single one of you who is simply alive has moved mountains to remain so. Everyone could always do better. But I know that all of you are doing your best and making the best out of this life of illness. No matter what choices you are making you are only human. You did nothing to deserve this illness. You did nothing to bring this illness on. You did nothing within your power to make it worse. It is a physical illness. Maybe a metabolic trap. You just stepped in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault.

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

(Image courtesy of Miramax and Lionsgate)




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